One thing I love to hear are people’s life stories. I once started a book on women’s stories but it lost its energy due to the overwhelming energies in my own life and never got picked up again. Someone wiser than I and a better writer than I will do it and meanwhile, I continue to be fascinated with the uniqueness of people’s valiant struggles and how creative so many are in overcoming obstacles. Those people are such inspirational figures and have taught me so much.
One of the common obstacles we each face is in the area of forgiveness. This can range from a small slight to a huge burden such as assault, abandonment, abuse, and other horrendous issues. Still, the challenge to us is the same: to forgive the offender while not condoning the offense, and bringing some measure of peace back to our lives while releasing our need to cling to our righteous anger at being victimized.
I’ve written quite a bit about forgiveness over the years. If it’s true that we teach what we need to know, it might also be true that we write what we need to hear. In my case, I know this to be true. I am one of those who has experienced “righteous anger” for everything from someone who steals my parking place to much bigger human interaction situations.
In the interest of anonymity, I will not mention specifics but be assured that my life has been filled with these incidents. It would seem one of my big life lessons has to do with learning how to truly forgive.
Over 30 years ago I experienced one of my forgiveness lessons and was in so much emotional pain over the betrayal of a friend that my Mother, who rarely said anything in the form of advice, quoted Mark Twain who wisely said “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.”
She also said, “Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.” This quote is attributed to Fannie Brice but there is some discussion around where it originated. Regardless, there is truth in this quote and in my case, with those two quotes ringing in my ears, I was able to release my anger and hurt over time and even reached a place of forgiveness. It was not easy. It took time. But I also realized that holding a grudge or hanging on to my firm belief that I was “done wrong” by a trusted friend was hurting me and not affecting the offender in any way.
So this is my HER-story: I was wronged. I hurt. I suffered. I floundered in the land of not understanding why this happened. I hurt and suffered some more. But slowly, by repeating those quotes and understanding the wisdom in them, I was able to move from being crushed to flying free.
The reason I am writing this is because I see some of my loved ones suffering from being hurt. They didn’t deserve this. But there is some learning in these experiences that will expand their being and their awareness and their consciousness that will benefit them in the long run. For me, I am much better at forgiving. I understand the boundary between forgiving and condoning. “Love the sinner but not the sin” is a quote that I understand and live by.
People who hurt others are hurting within themselves. They need healing too: perhaps more than we who are victimized by them. Their HIS-story and HER-story almost always have a BACK story that include horrid things that have happened to them.
I’ve learned that praying for others is a powerful action. I’ve learned that holding onto a grudge and my anger does nothing for me and does not affect the offender in any way. I’ve learned that in every case there is a lesson for me in there somewhere if I but take the time to explore it.
Here is a small almost silly example from my own life: Last week I was just about to pull into a parking space near the door of the store I was going to. All of sudden out of nowhere, this young woman does a quick U-turn and pulls into it, almost hitting me in her manoeuver. (Anyone ever see Fried Green Tomatoes? “TOWANDA” came to mind!)
I was startled, and then I was mad. How could she? She is young and I am obviously not and she can walk, darn it, and I limp, so come on….where is the fairness here?
Well, first I remembered that I can always use the exercise and even often park far away just so I can get the extra steps in. Second, I remembered the days when I was young and under so much time stress and thought maybe she was so harried that she needed that extra time that that space afforded her and after all, I was not in a hurry and the extra steps would serve me.
Next, I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer for her, parked far away, and walked to the store. I had a delightful encounter with the wonderful cashier. As I walked out of the store with a smile on my face, I realized I had not thought again of the incident and was actually surprised that I hadn’t and that by releasing it so quickly I was able to then enter into a pleasant exchange with the cashier, making both of our days better. And hopefully that young woman who was in such a hurry can find some peace in her life so she is not living in such a harried fashion. Been there, and it’s not good.
As I said, this is almost a silly example, but it does give you an idea of what forgiveness can do in releasing us from the burden of carrying anger over a wrongdoing.
I’d love to hear from you ways you have released your own anger in order to free you from carrying a grudge around. Those grudges get heavier with every day don’t they…..
There is a lot to be said for moving on. Staying stuck in the past gets us nowhere, but releasing and moving on opens up limitless possibilities.
Take it from one who knows. And one who spent too many years stuck in her righteous anger. Move on. And live a wonderful life free from anger and finger pointing. You won’t believe how much better you will feel!
I’m not sure but I would bet that anyone you ask might believe that the world seems to be upside down, things are not what they seem, and chaotic might be a word they would use to describe the current state of the world.
Indeed, these are “interesting times” from the ancient “Chinese curse” we have all heard about for years. (In case you are not familiar with that old saw, the ancient “Chinese curse” is “May you live in interesting times.”)
I’ve been thinking a lot about how the colors might help sort things out for us, how they might supporus, and how they might lead us through these challenging times. Color for our time is an amazing support for us, colors are always with us, and color can ultimately help us negotiate troubled waters and get to a place of smoother sailing.
Let’s examine all the chakra colors to see how they become “colors for our time”:
RED: This color is so necessary for us to use to remain grounded and to fuel our energy. If you are one of the way-showers, a person who is here to bring more light to the planet, then it is imperative to remain grounded in the earth in order to manifest your destiny. It is necessary to be grounded in order to manifest anything at all, and necessary to keep our center strong, and full of energy. Red is also a fuel for our energy and a color we can use to activate our intentions.
ORANGE: We also need a strong container to hold our energy and intentions. Without a container, the energy leaks away and has no focus, much like water without a pipe or hose or container of some sort. It will just ebb away. Orange helps us with creating and maintaining boundaries. Those boundaries are imperative if we are to manifest our destiny at this time.
YELLOW: A color that radiates, happiness, yellow helps bolster our spirits. More than that, though, yellow helps us focus, helps us remember, and helps us “digest” all that is going on. IT helps with assimilation of all sorts and right now we must be nimble and cogent around each situation.
GREEN: The color of the heart, green helps us remain seted in our heart center. the more we can act from this place, the better the world will be. We must rid ourselves of the hate, the disrespect of others who think differently than we do, the anger and righteous indignation that reigns supreme so often in our lives. Coming back to the heart center we will be better able to listen to others, to listen to our own wisdom, and to discern where the truth lies.
BLUE: More than any other color, blue is the color of peace and trust. We need both very much right now. Most of us yearn deeply for peace. We yearn for leaders whom we can trust. We yearn for a world where love can prevail over hate, where discernment is used before judgment, where peace is the goal rather than greed and power. These qualities all lie within the domain of blue.
INDIGO: We can use indigo to help us with the inward focus on ourselves, clearing us to more acceptance, more understanding and forgiveness, more spiritually based thoughts and actions. It also helps with dream work and many believe that in today’s world we are being guided through our dreams, and understanding them is of utmost importance. (Note to readers: I would personally add yellow when using indigo for dream work as yellow helps with both clarity and assimilation.)
PURPLE: The color for transitions and transformations, we can use purple to help us move forward to a world we only dream of today. This is where the magic lies and we can employ purple to create the changes for a more stable, heart centered, peace loving world.
HOW DO WE USE THE COLORS? There are so many ways to bring color into your daily life easily and most are without cost. You can wear it, breathe it, create bubbles of color protection with your intention and visualization, use essential oils/flower essences/gem elixirs, use accessories in clothing/jewelry/home and office, vases of flowers, pots of flowers and plants, gems and stones, and many other ways. In addition I have created a full line of color sprays that are a very easy and inexpensive way to use color eliminating all guesswork on your part. Click here to read more….
And to find out what each color can do, click here and then click on each color to read about its own qualities and how to work with each complementary color.
For tons of tips on how to use color from the perspective of 25 professionals plus myself see Simply Color for Everyday Living.
Turning to the Rainbow Chakra colors as the Colors of Our Time will bring you support, guidance, and help with transitions and changes. It is using the gift of the Rainbow that nature has given us in order to make the transitions that are occuring on the planet at this moment in time.
Enjoy the colors. Namaste.
Diantha has studied color intensely for over 30 years from several different aspects including art, art history, religions, philosophies, energy work, feng shui, healing systems using color, interior design, flower essences, gem elixirs, essential oils, gems and stones. She continues to learn as she teaches, writes and speaks about her beloved world of color. Believing that color is both subtle and powerful, gentle and effective, Diantha also believes color is a gift from the Divine, another gift given us from the nature kingdom for us to use for support, change, and the unfoldment of conscious living. The author of 3 books, you can peruse her new book, Simply Color for Everyday Living on her website and receive many free offerings. www.lifepotentials.net
Burden of Not Forgiving
Here we are again at the dawn of a New Year. I see people scurrying around making plans for a party, a celebration, a gathering, or just planning a quiet evening at home. Whatever you are doing this New Year, take time to release old resentments and old pain. It is a great time of year to forgive, really forgive….including yourself.
Who among us has not righteously held onto ill feelings that we feel are justified towards others because of “what they did” to use or what we PERCEIVED they did to us. I just finished a novel in which a dreadful cascade of events unfurled because of a misperceived action. The female lead in the novel felt she had been unjustly treated but in the end, she so foolishly misread the event that it led to some sad and tragic events in her efforts to seek revenge for an act which had really been one of protection and kindness.
This was a novel, granted, but don’t we always quip “truth is stranger than fiction” or “no one could have made this up for a novel”! Indeed, these things happen regularly on the planet and when our egos get bruised, we tend to want to “win” or seek revenge or set things right.
At any rate, from personal experience I can tell you that it is far better for us to forgive and move on than it is to hold a grudge. The other person is out living their life while we fume and mutter to ourselves how unjust that was! My Mother used to say “Time heals all wounds and wounds all heels.” I hated when she would say that to me. But once I could get my thoughts around a situation in which I felt so wronged, I could finally forgive.
It doesn’t mean that what they did was ok, not at all, but I did realize that people, even I, made mistakes, sometimes very hurtful ones. I never hurt someone on purpose but I know I hurt people, mostly through my naivite, sometimes by neglect or oversight, or simply not knowing what I was doing.
Knowing that I also hurt people made me a bit more tolerant and forgiving of others. And knowing that there is a higher form of justice out there than I could ever dish out also gave me a lot of relief.
I realize that there are dreadful, unspeakable, horrible things that occur. But once they have happened, it is over and no amount of anger, angst, or revenge will take them back. It can take years, YEARS, to work through something like this and to some degree, perhaps we never really work all the way through it to total, complete, heart felt forgiveness. But as we take the time to work through these events, we can lighten the load of our burden by slowly working towards forgiveness. It is a journey, like all of life’s challenges.
Forgiving is hard, but not forgiving is even harder. Walking around with the weight of anger is exhausting and produces nothing. So this New Year, start with an empty cart by forgiving what you can and moving on. Then you can heap all kinds of blessings into that cart….believe me, they weigh nothing while anger, angst, and thoughts of revenge weigh tons. You will lead a better life if you make that choice.
Happy New Year! May all your days be light filled and light!
Sand in Your Shoes
“It isn’t the mountain ahead that wears you out; it’s the grain of sand in your shoe.”
— Robert W. Service