The past is filtering into my brain these days without my permission. Quite unbidden, snapshots from my past appear suddenly as if a slide show is being projected on a screen, a slide show run by some unknown, unseen presence who keeps interfering in my thoughts by inserting a vision from some past, long forgotten event.
I imagine this is fairly familiar to “people of a certain age”. I remember well how my own Mother would reminisce rather like free association, one memory to another, long ago events that would suddenly arise in her mind causing her to remember a long ago happening or a person from her distant past.
This week historic scenarios have appeared such as a friend riding his motorcycle, loving the freedom of the ride, who died much too young in an accident, protective gear being a thing of the future at that time. Riding home from college with a dear friend the summer I had a crush on him and he had a crush on my best friend. Snippets of times when I behaved badly with my Mom, saying things I didn’t want to say yet being urged by some unknown force to hurt her before she could hurt me first. Picnics at the lake with my family and grandparents, and always skinning my knees on something laughing all the while. On and on. Good memories, funny ones, shameful ones, and ones that made me sad all over again.
I suppose it is only natural that as one approaches a milestone birthday, one might take inventory of what has gone before. What will we take forward with us? What will we choose to unburden our lives with? What will we finally leave behind? What will we create for our future?
My suspicion is that these slide show snapshots are a combination of both aging and the upcoming milestone birthday. I am feeling another crack opening in my heart, another opening that will allow more light in and more of myself out. I am long practiced at holding things in, so allowing more authenticity to emerge, I am following what I teach, and also unburdening my soul from all those self imposed restrictions that were put in place from birth on.
I find it very synchronistic that at this time of the winter solstice that the restrictions in my heart are being opened to more light, just as our hemisphere opens itself to the return of the sun’s light. The natural contraction and expansion in the natural world is happening in my own heart and each contraction brings with it another opening, another shedding of another layer, another opportunity for expansion of the soul and the light.
It is my dearest wish for each of us that this year the expansion of light within us is enough to tip the scales so that our world becomes focused on the light and not on the dark. That all of our hearts open to allow more of that light in. And that our futures become better and brighter because of our past experiences.
Christmas Blessings to you all.
May your lives be filled with all good things.
“The past can not be changed, forgotten, edited or erased. It can only be accepted.”~Unknown
“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of living in the present.” ~Barbara DeAngelis
“Forget what hurt you in the past. But never forget what it taught you.” ~Unknown
“We are products of our past, but we don’t have to be prisoners of it.” ~Rick Warren
“Study the past if you would define the future.” ~Confucius
“People are all over the world telling their one dramatic story and how their life has turned into getting over this one event. Now their lives are more about the past than their future.” ~Chuck Palahniuk
“My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me.” ~Steve Maraboli